Babylon Bay  ·  Pop. 4.2 Million

JerkCalhoun

In a city of 4.2 million — where nothing is safe and everyone is a hustler — he is the most cop ever.

100%
Cop
0
Days Off
27+
Years Served
1,252
Cases Closed
Watch the Videos
JUSTICE AND BAKED GOODS
Case Files — Video Evidence

Watch Calhoun Work

More episodes coming. Babylon Bay never sleeps.

Sworn Testimony

The Record Speaks

He was already there when we arrived. We don't know how.
— Babylon Bay Fire Dept., Incident Report #4471
I have never seen that jacket not have a situation under control.
— Anonymous, Babylon Bay City Council (under oath)
Jerk Calhoun is the only cop in this city I have never been able to reach an arrangement with. Believe me. I tried.
— Redacted, Office of the District Attorney
He stood in the intersection for forty-five minutes. Nobody asked him to. Traffic moved anyway.
— Babylon Bay Dept. of Transportation, Internal Memo
We ran his name through the system. The system asked us to please be more careful.
— Babylon Bay Records Division, Case File 00-JC
Jerk Calhoun
Personnel File — Classified

About
Calhoun

Babylon Bay is a city of 4.2 million people. It has a waterfront, a financial district, a fog problem, and a corruption problem. The fog is natural, and some say the corruption is too. Jerk Calhoun does not agree.

The mayor is under investigation. The police commissioner is under a different investigation. The city council is, collectively, under a third investigation nobody is talking about yet.

"I don't have a style. I have results."
— Jerk Calhoun, annual performance review, every year

In this context, Jerk Calhoun has served the Babylon Bay Police Department for longer than most residents care to remember. In a department where everyone else has an arrangement, Jerk has a jacket. It has seen things, and so has he.

Rank
Most Cop Ever
Jurisdiction
All Of It
Specialty
Justice And Baked Goods
Known For
No Bullshit
Sidearm
1911 .45 ACP
Favorite Donut
Pink Glazed
IT'S OKAY. HE'S A COP.