CASE: 00-JC STATUS: ACTIVE CLEARANCE: LVL-3

Short Film by · 2026

Jerk Calhoun

He is the most cop ever.

Runtime
4:33
Format
2.39:1 · 4K
Sound
Stereo
Genre
Action/Comedy
Captain Jerk Calhoun, arms wide, in the streets of Babylon Bay — film still from Jerk Calhoun (2026) by Kit Anderson. Captain Calhoun and a pink-glazed donut surrounded by gulls — film still from Jerk Calhoun by Kit Anderson. Close-up of Captain Calhoun — film still from Jerk Calhoun by Kit Anderson. Calhoun and Det. Kronborg in an off-the-books procedure room — film still from Jerk Calhoun by Kit Anderson.
EXHIBIT A · SUBJECT IDENTIFIED
Personnel Photo · Badge #00-JC "I don't have a style. I have results."
— Capt. Calhoun, performance review, every year.
01

Synopsis

Sworn Statement
Jerk Calhoun (2026) one-sheet poster — a short film by Kit Anderson. Captain Calhoun in trench coat, Babylon Bay skyline.
EXHIBIT A · KEY ART
One Sheet · Painted Download ↓

Babylon Bay is a city of 4.2 million people. It has a fog problem and a corruption problem. The fog is natural. The corruption, depending on who you ask, may be too.

Into this mess jumps Captain Calhoun — twenty-seven years on the force, one jacket, no arrangements.

He only cares about two things: justice and baked goods. He's the most cop ever.

"He was already there when we arrived. We don't know how." — Babylon Bay Fire Dept., Incident Report #4471
01-B The Record Service Specs
Rank
Captain
Jurisdiction
All of It
Specialty
Justice & Baked Goods
Known For
No Bullshit
Sidearm
1911 .45 ACP
Favorite Donut
Pink Glazed
Years Served
27+ (Zero Days Off)
Cases Closed
1,252
02

World Premiere

Announcement Forthcoming
03

Stills

Exhibits B–F
Captain Calhoun with a pink glazed donut, gulls overhead — Jerk Calhoun film still by Kit Anderson, 2026.
EXHIBIT B
Pink glazed. Gulls. No comment.
Calhoun standing arms-wide in an intersection — Jerk Calhoun film still by Kit Anderson.
EXHIBIT C
It's okay. He's a cop.
Tight close-up on Calhoun — Jerk Calhoun film still by Kit Anderson.
EXHIBIT D
Eye of the bunny. Sustained.
Calhoun in an off-the-books procedure room — Jerk Calhoun film still by Kit Anderson.
EXHIBIT E
Procedure room. Off the books.
Det. Elinor Kronborg in a hospital recovery wing with a pink glazed donut — Jerk Calhoun film still by Kit Anderson.
EXHIBIT F
Det. Kronborg. Pink glazed. Recovery wing.
04

Testimony

On the Record
Anonymous Babylon Bay city council member — witness W-001.
W-001
CITY COUNCIL · ANON.

I have never seen that jacket not have a situation under control.

— Babylon Bay City Council (under oath)
District Attorney (redacted) — witness W-002.
W-002
DIST. ATTORNEY · REDACTED

Captain Calhoun is the only cop in this city I have never been able to reach an arrangement with. Believe me. I tried.

— Office of the District Attorney
Department of Transportation worker — witness W-003.
W-003
DEPT. OF TRANSPORT.

He stood in the intersection for forty-five minutes. Nobody asked him to. Traffic moved anyway.

— BB Dept. of Transportation, Internal Memo
Records Division clerk — witness W-004.
W-004
RECORDS DIVISION

We ran his name through the system. The system asked us to please be more careful.

— BB Records Division, Case File 00-JC
Firefighter O'Connell, Babylon Bay Fire Dept. — witness W-005.
W-005
FIRE DEPT. · O'CONNELL

He was already there when we arrived. We don't know how. We don't ask anymore.

— Babylon Bay Fire Dept., Incident Report #4471
05

Credits

On the Force
Created & Produced
Kit Anderson
Written & Directed
Kit Anderson
Music
Devin Davenport
Original Score
Start Frames
Flux
Animation
Kling
Post
Premiere
Captain Calhoun
Kit Anderson
Cast
Det. Elinor Kronborg
Emily Mode
Cast
06

Director's Statement

Personnel File
Kit Anderson — writer, director, and star of Jerk Calhoun. Author, Artist, and Amateur Stuntman, Truckee, California.
EXHIBIT G
Kit Anderson · Writer / Director / Jerk

Kit Anderson

Writer · Director · Author, Artist, and Amateur Stuntman

Jerk Calhoun is a parody, a farce, and a love letter to a kind of cop movie that doesn't really exist anymore — the kind where the lead has a jacket, a partner with a nice suit, and a moral compass that points in exactly one direction.

I dreamed this because I missed it. I created it because I like new categories and emerging tools. I started snowboarding in 1992, and everyone thought it was the end of the world. Turns out snowboarding saved the ski industry. AI movies remind me of that.

This is a funny movie about a man who refuses to compromise, in a city built on compromise. The only thing he cares about is justice and baked goods.

Selected Work: Gapers Gone Wild · Mathematician's Transdimensional Odyssey of Doom · IMDb

Director Bio: thekitanderson.com/press

Also by Kit Anderson: thekitanderson.com · kitanderson.art · Books · YouTube